Shame can live deep in our bodies, woven into our muscles and breath. In today’s post, I’m sharing something intimate and soothing: an ASMR-style reading of an excerpt from my book The Roots of Pelvic Floor Yoga.
ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) uses gentle sound to create a sense of calm and relaxation. Sound itself is deeply healing – it can soothe the nervous system, quiet the mind, and bring us back into presence with our bodies.
This reading is designed to help you soften into your body, release held tension, and explore the connection between shame and your pelvic floor. I invite you to listen with an open heart, whether you’re relaxing before bed, meditating, or seeking a moment of embodied peace.
Below, you’ll find the full video to experience, as well as the transcript if you prefer to read and reflect.
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Transcription Begins:
Sexual Shame and Sexual Health
Sexual shame refers to a feeling of disgrace or disgust towards one's own identity as a sexual being. It's not a secret that there is a lot of judgment when it comes to sex; that is why there are fewer and fewer talks about sex. It can be difficult to avoid these judgments or feel free about your sexual desires. Sexuality is almost always associated with shame and the core of feeling flawed and unacceptable, leading to a feeling of unworthiness and, therefore, unloved.
The biblical story of Adam and Eve illustrates the beginning of sexual shame. After sinning, we are told Adam and Eve covered their private parts with fig leaves after realizing they were naked. The fig tree represents the beginning of shame in sexuality, desire, and our traditions. We are hard-wired to cover our sexuality by wearing “appropriate clothes,” secrecy around sex, and giving little to no information on sexual education. We cannot openly discuss sex and sexual desires with others.
Sexual health is a vital aspect of overall health and well-being, yet many women struggle with sexual dysfunctions; female sexual disorder refers to a variety of issues that impact a woman's ability to engage and enjoy sexual activity, including low libido, difficulty achieving an orgasm and pain during sex.
Negative impacts of sexual shaming on sexual pleasures and functioning
Sexual shaming refers to a situation where someone is made to feel ashamed, guilty, or humiliated of their sexual preferences, behaviors, or wants. It can take many forms, including societal norms, family values, media representation, and educational practices. It can also take the form of cultural and religious beliefs. Sexual shaming can negatively affect a person's sexual functioning and pleasure in a variety of ways, including:
Sexual shaming can result in a distorted and negative self-image. When someone feels inadequate or inferior due to their sexual impulses or habits, it can undermine their confidence and lead to low self-esteem. They may find it difficult to express themselves, explain their wants, or fully enjoy their sexual experiences as a result.
Lack of communication and closeness in partnerships can result from sexual shaming. When someone feels shamed for their sexual demands or habits, they could find it awkward or embarrassing to express them to their partner. This may cause misunderstandings, arguments, or sexual dissatisfaction, which can obstruct intimacy and connection.
Disgust. This is brought about by carrying around shame and being judged or you judging yourself. You should explore your body; having sexual challenges does not mean you are disgusting.
Sexual shaming can cause sexual fear and anxiety. Someone may feel guilty or uneasy about having sex if they are criticized for their sexual desires or actions. As a result, one may postpone having sex, have less desire for sex, or have trouble achieving sexual arousal or orgasm.
Inhibited desire and arousal. Shame is like a thick coat that blocks a natural, healthy sexual desire and arousal response. Shame hinders you from enjoying sex.
Transcription ends.
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May the gentle sounds and words linger with you, calming your nervous system and guiding you deeper into your embodied wisdom.
Thank you for spending this time with me today. If this reading resonated with you, I encourage you to explore The Roots of Pelvic Floor Yoga for deeper practices, stories, and reflections to support your journey of healing and embodiment.
Remember, sound has the power to regulate our nervous system and awaken the wisdom within our bodies. May this reading bring you peace and a sense of homecoming within yourself.
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Your body is wise and worthy of your gentlest attention. May you continue to meet yourself with grace.